Fingerprints never fade from the lives we have touched.

Fingerprints never fade away from the lives we have touched. And sometimes we either remember or lose sight from those who have helped us reach the successful point in our life. I  know that i have been hit with a rough patch in life and I couldn't thank the close friends enough that have stuck by me and kept me sain. I would very much like to thank all that have stood by me when i was weak, picked me up when i fell, calmed me down when i seemed crazy, and comforted me when i beat myself up. Im not perfect nor do i try to be i simply am me. I have came a long way from 3 months ago, yes i still have a lot of maturing and growing up to do but I can finally say I MADE IT! I have finally made it to a check point in life where i carry a new found confidence in my step. I am strong and proud. 3 months ago i was a coward heartless bitch. I had no appreciation for anything and took everything for granted and I am happy to say that i have grown up to love and appreciate all that has came my way. Life is all on perspective and how we tackle the daily challenges and if we always start the day with a negative attitude we wont accomplish nearly enough as we could with a positive one. I have lived and loved i have hurt and recovered and im gonna make it through. From being sexually abused, parents in and out of my life, raising my brother, having two children, married&& divorced. I must say im doing alright for 19. My flaws and insecurities keep getting the best of me and now that i have made it to be stable enough to care for another man in my life i keep fucking up. I would like to say that i have my ducks in row goal in my head and on the road to meeting it I would finally just like to have someone there to hold my hand along the way,no i dont need it but i would like to have someone there on the sideline cheering me on every now and then. I have over come my fear of being alone. I have tackled the challenge of doing it on my own. I have even enjoyed the party life of going out getting drunk crazy hookups and forgetting in the morning. And now i wanna settle and focus on the long term. I feel that i have made a stable foundation for myself and my girls and even though i can't force or push for a relationship i would hope someone would come along the way. Speaking of this i am still learning the task of patience. I can tend to come off obsessive or pushy because im so use to a guy saying he liked me and the next day were dating so to actually have to work at a relationship is a whole new thing for me and i dont take it very well and it makes me look bad on my part so its all about learning && hopefully those who are doing the  teaching can understand cause the key to relationships and even friendship is communication and without it we will just get annoyed iritated and end up disliking each other for not fulling knowing what the other one wants or needs. Trial and error is all i can really do and sooner rather than later I will get better at this. I just need to keep those who have touched my life close by and continue to shine because they have pushed me this far and its wayy to late to quit now. I continue this journey strong and open minded. I keep taking risks to learn and sometimes i am gonna fail or fall down but i still feel good for trying it. I just would like to hope those i have made a bad impression on can clear the board and give me another try to realize im not a bad guy.