Broken

Im at my breaking point. I feel very jealous of my husband, he works two jobs bought a tv got an xbox got a new car well you get the point he gets everything he ever wanted. As a good wife i feel that its my job to always make him happy and cater to him and give him everything he ever wanted but im not feeling that respect back. I wont bash but im tired of certain people calling me a spoiled brat and talking bad about me saying i "shop too much" or whatever but reality i dont. I use to be spoiled yes i use to get everything i wanted and even though were married doesn't mean what we "buy" together is exaclty mine to claim. Yeah sure he shares with me from time to time but i always can tell when he really isn't happy with me using whatever it is i wannna use. Im jealous because some days i feel that he doesn't want me to work for this reason. Its like he has "power" over me because im stuck at home while he makes money and if i wanna do something he has the right to say yes or no. I dont like it and im getting very annoyed with him. I have currently started working but i hate it because i miss being with my girls every second of the day. A break is nice yes but to me a break is getting a pedicure or shopping and having lunch with a girl friend or just taking a walk at the pier by myself to catch a breath. I am feeling selfish to have these feelings but im only human and i think that after 2 years of me just spoiling him im getting old of it because im not getting anything in return even a simple thank you would be nice. Working has made me feel slightly better about myself confidence wise because i can now do things with my girls and just have something to myself again. But weather i stay at home to raise our girls im lazy or if i go to work to help with bills and stuff im a bad mom for leaving my girls at a young age with just anyone. Im stuck between a rock and a hard spot and im losing it. Its time i do things for me because trying to please everyone is driving me insane. There isn't much more i can take with peoples crap and there hurtful words and soon i feel like i will explode on them if they say something wrong if things dont change. I have a lot of built up frustration and this blogging is really helping lets hope things get better soon!